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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Live now on Instagram:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Just shared via TikTok:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Spotted on Slack:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why ride the emotional rollercoaster when you can take a horse to Heartbreak Hotel? 🐴💔

1868, dead, dead horse, going, hell, historical, horse, humor, imagine, outside, situationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

0

2 months ago

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth
Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

0

2 months ago

empath, exploded, explosion, head, humor, just, reaction, walking
If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

0

2 months ago

accordingly, accordion, act, acting, better, communication, emoji, expectation, humor, i, means, start, text
I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

0

2 months ago

die, evolve, humor, i, life, motivation, prime
Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, diarrhea, escape, escape room, funny situation, humor, joke, room, situation, unexpected, urgency
Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

0

2 months ago

abs, diet, fitness, food, humor, irony, kebab

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

76 shares on Threads this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

91 shares on X this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

92 shares on Threads this month:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Breaking via Messenger:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Spotted on Twitch:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Making waves on YouTube:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨