14 funny historical quotes - Wordgag

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

May 25, 2026

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

May 25, 2026

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

May 25, 2026

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

May 25, 2026

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

May 23, 2026

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

May 22, 2026

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

May 21, 2026

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

May 20, 2026

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

May 18, 2026

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Apr 1, 2026

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Apr 1, 2026

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Mar 31, 2026

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Mar 30, 2026

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Mar 29, 2026