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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Going viral on Instagram:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Making waves on Discord:

Fries, not lies.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Just shared via Twitch:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Just shared via Twitch:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Just shared via Pinterest:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Just landed via YouTube:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

2 months ago

0

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Can you imagine the chaos if social media closed every day at 6pm? 🕕😱 The internet would go into meltdown faster than you can say 'refresh'! 🔄💥 It might just be the only thing that unites the world in collective panic. 🌍📱 #AfterHoursScrolling"

activity, closed, closure, day, every, hours, humor, imagine, media, shop, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

0

2 months ago

activity, Adderall, beach, before, focus, fun, fun activity, going, good, good time, having, humor, i, lay, party, productivity, relaxation, taking, time
Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

0

2 months ago

20, age, always, curiosity, ever, forever, future, humor, i, Italy, Japan, long-term, someone, travel, turned, world, world travel
Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

0

2 months ago

change, climate, climate change, commentary, courage, everyone, gods, humor, irony, sacrifice, satire, social, social commentary, virgin
The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

0

2 months ago

date, done, honesty, humor, punctuality, relationship, thing, turn
Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

0

2 months ago

day, day off, enjoyment, free, free time, fun, i, leisure, love, much, next, no work, oh, relaxation, Sunday, time, weekend, work
My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

0

5 months ago

animal, day, humor, laziness, nap, sleep, sloth, spirit, spirit animal

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Is this simulation from Temu?

95 shares on WeChat this month:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

49 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Just shared via Instagram:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Spotted on Instagram:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Just shared via TikTok:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

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