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Commentary:
"Can you imagine the chaos if social media closed every day at 6pm? 🕕😱 The internet would go into meltdown faster than you can say 'refresh'! 🔄💥 It might just be the only thing that unites the world in collective panic. 🌍📱 #AfterHoursScrolling"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

1 month ago
child, energy, first child, humor, nature, parenting, second, second child, sleep, trick, unpredictability
I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

1 month ago
30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management
My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

1 month ago
advice, always, anything, communication, conversation, conversationalist, humor, me, mother, much, nice, nothing, say, silence, told, witty
If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

1 month ago
buying, humor, i, lottery, money, nice, politician, politicians, satire, sh, spending, wealth, win
Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

1 month ago
advice, clock, humor, never, pun, secret, share, tell, time
The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

1 month ago
app, apps, date, dating, humor, i, interaction, irony, love, modern, modern love, problem, relationship, social, social interaction, someone

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Just shared via Instagram:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Making waves on Twitch:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Going viral on X:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Trending via Instagram:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

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Activity Log ✨

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

I have friends in high places (birds).

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

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Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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