Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Seen just now on X:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Just landed via Reddit:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Trending via Threads:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Just shared via Reddit:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Spotted on Discord:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Trending via Discord:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Just landed via Threads:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sign me up for the next spaceship! I'm ready to escape Earth traffic jams and get some quality alien coffee! 🚀👽☕️

away, distance, enticing, escape, far, far away, galaxy, humor, sci-fi, sound, space, star, Star Wars, starting, wars

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

0

3 weeks ago

ambition, crush, girl, having, humor, let, love, me, money, motivation, things, think, yes
Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, club, dating, humor, jazz, jazz club, problem, taking, woman, women
Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

0

2 months ago

case, date, deleted, famous, famous woman, fans, humor, i, just, media, old, privacy, rabid, relationship, social, social media, Tweets, woman
Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

0

2 months ago

block, dating, getting-to-know-you, humor, interaction, just, me, phase, relationship, sarcasm, skip, social, social interaction
I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

0

2 months ago

couch, domestic, domestic life, fold, hear, humor, i, joke, later, laundry, life, marriage, me, omelet, told, wife
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

0

2 months ago

communication, contact, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, telepathy, text, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

27 shares on X this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Shared recently on Discord:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Making waves on Messenger:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Spotted on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Going viral on Messenger:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Going viral on Twitch:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨