Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Going viral on Instagram:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Just shared via TikTok:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Going viral on Messenger:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Making waves on Facebook:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Spotted on Threads:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Walking into Walmart feels like prepping for a marathon but with fewer medals and more shopping cart dodging! 🛒🏃‍♂️💨

energy, exhaustion, humor, inside, much, retail, shopping, Walmart

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

0

2 months ago

around, backyard, body, buried, domestic, domestic life, fashion, fun, house, humor, jeans, life, people, wear
Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

0

2 months ago

actress, actually, another, Babygirl, being, cause, film, humor, joke, kidman, last, last name, name, nicole, Nicole Kidman, perfect, version, wordplay
If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

0

5 months ago

business, business failure, chain, Domino’s, ever, failure, feel, food, food industry, humor, industry, Italy, just, marketing, open, pizza, remember, tried
I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

0

2 months ago

affairs, before, bite, food, hot, humor, i, order, pepper, regret, spicy
“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

0

2 months ago

confusion, humor, i, idea, interaction, joke, name, sarcasm, short, social, social interaction
I love unplanned fun.

0

18 hours ago

fun, i, love, spontaneity, unplanned, unplanned fun

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

17 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

30 shares on Threads this month:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Spotted on WeChat:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Just shared via WeChat:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Trending via Messenger:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Spotted on X:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

I love unplanned fun.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨