Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.
  • I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.
  • Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.
  • Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.
  • Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.
  • I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.