Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,751

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Spotted on Facebook:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Breaking via TikTok:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Spotted on Facebook:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Freshly posted on X:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Making waves on Reddit:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Just shared via Facebook:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about how people seem kinder before marriage, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the harsh reality of marriage – where the rose-tinted glasses turn into magnifying glasses 🔍! It's like a magical transformation from Prince Charming to Captain Grumpy Pants 🤷‍♂️. Who said 'till death do us part' was going to feel like eternal sunshine? ☀️💍"

expectations, experience, humor, marriage, married, nice, people, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

January: the Monday of months.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Going bananas on X:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Going viral on Threads:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Shared recently on X:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Breaking via YouTube:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Trending via TikTok:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

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