Commentary:
Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦
47 Funny married quotes
Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.
Commentary:
Math homework and carpooling: unlocking the true potential of 'me time' 😂🔢🚗
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?
Commentary:
🤣 Seems like marriage comes with a "requires assistance" label! 💍🔧
The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.
Commentary:
Well, that escalated quickly! 🏃♂️💍➡️🏃♂️📜
Settling down and getting married so I can finally meet the au pair of my dreams.
Commentary:
Sounds like the plot twist nobody saw coming in a rom-com about household chores!
If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate practice-makes-perfect relationship strategy! 💍🤣
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.
Commentary:
Finally, a lifetime subscription to the post-social event gossip club! 🗣️💬👫🤣
Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.
Commentary:
Sounds like an advanced relationship skills class! 😂💍❤️🔥
There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.
Commentary:
Why split a mansion? My five friends and ten dogs already own the deed to my heart! 🏰🐾😂
When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.
Commentary:
That's the moment when "I do" meets mockumentary magic! 🎥💍👀