Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.
  • My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.
  • You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!
  • Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.
  • Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.
  • Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.