Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Just landed via YouTube:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Spotted on WeChat:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Trending via Reddit:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Live now on TikTok:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Breaking via WeChat:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you're mastering the art of "Long-term Chaos Management" 😂🔧📅

5, day, exaggeration, having, humor, life, life struggle, long time, rough, rough day, sarcasm, struggle, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

0

2 months ago

boredom, caught, checking, dry, humor, i, loneliness, myself, phone, weather
Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

0

2 months ago

behavior, etiquette, hairstyle, humor, make-up, makeup, polite, polite behavior, should, skills, social, social skills, tutorial, tutorials, YouTube
Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

0

2 months ago

address, adult, adult humor, both, cheeky, cowgirl, double, double entendre, elephant, entendre, funny phrase, humor, humor quote, innuendo, metaphor, phrase, playful, reverse, room, sexual, sexual innuendo
Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

0

2 months ago

advice, again, budgeting, finances, financial, financial advice, good, humor, i, mistake, money
Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

0

2 months ago

academic, bad, embarrassment, essay, ever, humiliating, humiliation, most, personal, personal relationship, professor, relationship, school, student, thing, turning, writing
Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

0

2 months ago

dude, later, others, pull, treat, treated, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

52 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

79 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Going viral on Discord:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Making waves on Discord:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Seen just now on X:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Going viral on TikTok:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨