Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Making waves on Telegram:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Going viral on Instagram:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Witty quote about budgeting and time, highlighting humor in financial struggles.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between money and time 🤑⏳ If only we could adjust the calendar to suit our finances! Who's with me on petitioning for a 10-day month? 🗓💸 #FinancialGenius"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

16 shares on X this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

26 shares on Threads this month:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Just shared via Threads:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Spotted on TikTok:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Making waves on Messenger:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Trending via Facebook:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Making waves on Messenger:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴