Commentary:
When the price of avocados makes me consider taking out a mortgage 😂🥑💸
73 Funny done quotes
You take a week or two away from working out, and your body acts like it’s never done a run or lifted a weight before.
Commentary:
My muscles are like, "Exercise? I don't know her!" 🏋️♂️🤷♂️😂
“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”
Commentary:
Chasing toddlers with markers should be an Olympic sport! 🏃♂️🎨🤣
I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.
Commentary:
"Totally saving money… unless we're spending it on epic weekend adventures! 🌞💸😂"
We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.
Commentary:
Oh sure, because nothing says 'piece of cake' like juggling chainsaws blindfolded 😂🎂🔧
How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.
Commentary:
Sounds like you’ve discovered the true meaning of "stuck in bed 😂❤️🛌."
America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.
Commentary:
"Who knew pasta and crime could make such an iconic duo? 🍝🕵️♂️"
The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Sleeping Olympics gold medalist right here! 😴🥇 #ProNapAthlete
Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.
Commentary:
Guess Santa needed a GPS instead of a PDS—Protruding Deer Snout! 🦌❌🌫️🗺️
Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.
Commentary:
🛸 "If you love me at my alien-replacement phase, then you've passed the ultimate relationship test! I guess that makes us 'out of this world' together! 👽❤️"