Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.