34 funny 40 quotes - Wordgag

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

May 21, 2026

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

May 20, 2026

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

May 20, 2026

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

May 20, 2026

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

May 19, 2026

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

May 19, 2026

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

May 19, 2026

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

May 19, 2026

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

May 19, 2026

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

May 19, 2026

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

May 18, 2026

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

May 18, 2026

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

May 18, 2026

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Apr 1, 2026

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Apr 1, 2026

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Mar 31, 2026

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Mar 30, 2026

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Mar 29, 2026

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Mar 29, 2026

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Mar 29, 2026

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Mar 29, 2026

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Mar 28, 2026

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Mar 28, 2026

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Mar 27, 2026

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Mar 27, 2026

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Mar 26, 2026

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Mar 26, 2026

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Mar 26, 2026

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Mar 25, 2026

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Mar 25, 2026

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Mar 25, 2026

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Mar 25, 2026

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Mar 25, 2026

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Mar 25, 2026