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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,955

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,955

2 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Just shared via X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Shared recently on Threads:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Trending via Snapchat:

I am cassette tape years old.

Shared recently on Threads:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Going viral on Snapchat:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

6 months ago

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎬🎄"Forget about the Grinch stealing Christmas, Alan Rickman seems to be the one wreaking havoc on the holiday season with his legendary performances! Move over, Santa, it's Alan's time to shine and ruin Christmas in style with his range of iconic characters. 'Tis the season for Alan Rickman to steal the show and your Christmas cheer!" 🌟😂

actually, alan, Alan Rickman, Christmas, die, Die Hard, genre, hard, hood, humor, just, love, Love Actually, movie, movie genre, reminder, rickman, robin, Robin Hood, subgenre, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,955

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,955

2 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Trending via YouTube:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Trending via Messenger:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Going viral on WeChat:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

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