Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Shared recently on Instagram:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Going viral on Reddit:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Live now on Snapchat:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Just shared via YouTube:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Just landed via Twitch:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Just landed via Twitch:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the quintessential dread of returning to work – it hits differently after a delicious lunch, a rejuvenating vacation, or simply facing the reality of adulting 🙈 On the bright side, at least you can always look forward to your next break or retirement 🌞💼 #MondayBlues"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Spotted on Messenger:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Reported on Instagram:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Spotted on Discord:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Making waves on Discord:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Breaking via Slack:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴