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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Breaking via Telegram:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Just landed via Reddit:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Spotted on Threads:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Going viral on Discord:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Just landed via WeChat:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Spotted on Threads:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

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Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.
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Commentary:
Obstacles are just life’s way of asking if you're on the right page yet 📚😜🚧

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Twitch this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

99 shares on Slack this month:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

10 shares on Discord this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,235

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Spreading quickly via X:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Breaking via Telegram:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Spotted on Facebook:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Freshly posted on X:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

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