Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
  • With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.
  • I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.
  • Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.
  • I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.
  • Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.