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Commentary:
"Life is shorter than a kid's attention span… unless you're listening to them break down the complexities of PAW Patrol 🐾😂 #ParentingRealities"

describing, episode, humor, kid, life, listening, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, perspective, short, time

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61 shares on Snapchat this month:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

18 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Just landed via X:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Shared recently on X:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Just shared via Threads:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Live now on Facebook:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Live now on Discord:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Going viral on X:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

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Activity Log ✨

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

I need to consult the woods about this.

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

I need to consult the woods about this.

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

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Trending Topics 📁

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