Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Spotted on Telegram:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Seen just now on Slack:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Seen just now on Slack:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Going viral on YouTube:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

3 months ago

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍵 "Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything."

Ah, the power of green tea – the elixir of life, the answer to all our problems, the ultimate solution to world peace! Who needs superheroes when you have a cup of green tea, right? Sip away, my friend, and let the magic unfold! ✨🍵 #TeaFixesEverything

drinking, everything, fix, going, green, green tea, humor, me, optimism, tea

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

2 months ago

after, air, Air Friar, basketball, basketball player, friar, humor, joke, jordan, michael, Michael Jordan, order, player, pun, religious, religious joke, religious order, sports, sports humor, wordplay
An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

2 months ago

apple, away, boredom, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, fun, humor, keep, keeps, routine, silly
Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

6 months ago

good, greeting, humor, plan, plans, weekend
We literally used to write an essay by hand.

4 months ago

education, essay, hand, handwriting, humor, literally, memory, nostalgia, old, old school, school, used, writing
A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

2 months ago

dad, funny situation, humor, lineup, police, recognition, situation, sneeze
I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

2 months ago

back, bring, bring back, catchphrase, holy, holy moly, humor, me, moly, nobody, nostalgia, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

When the weather gets warmer, I will become unstoppable. As long as it doesn’t get too warm, then I will be stoppable.

80 shares on X this month:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

90 shares on YouTube this month:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

67 shares on X this month:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Just landed via Facebook:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Trending via Facebook:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Going viral on YouTube:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Just shared via WeChat:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴