Commentary:
Oh, the internal monologue of 'Can I get to a bathroom in time?' is the real Olympic event of life! 🤢🚽🏅
15 Funny green quotes
Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.
Commentary:
Switching coffee for green tea: the fastest way to transform waking up from a sip of happiness to a morning of leafy sorrow ☕➡️🍵😂
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.
Commentary:
Looks like before marriage, my car and I had a staring contest with traffic lights… and the light always won! 🚦😂
I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.
Commentary:
Why wait for honks? Blast some music and strut your stuff, green light or not! 🚦💃🎶
I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.
Commentary:
Why stop at orc? Add some Red Bull and become a full raid boss! 🧃🐉
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’
Commentary:
Looks like even Gandalf couldn't handle the epic smell battles and orc-style fashion show! 🧙♂️💨😂
Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.
Commentary:
"Who knew the secret to green fashion was just Mother Nature's clearance sale? 🍵🍫😜 #Trendsetter"
Avocado is just green butter.
Commentary:
"Avocado: the butter that went to yoga and became enlightened 🧘🥑💚 #HealthyFats #Namaste"
Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.
Commentary:
“BRB, just realized the grass is neon back home! 🚀🌱✨”
It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.
Commentary:
"Thank goodness for the non-smartphone users, ensuring the honking tradition stays alive! 🚦📵 Keep the honk alive, folks! 😂"