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I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and insideโ€ฆ my grandmotherโ€™s meatloaf recipe.

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To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

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Maybe thereโ€™s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you donโ€™t know.

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Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

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If Shakespeare were being born today, heโ€™d be โ€œShaxxespyr.โ€

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A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

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Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

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You can tell Monopoly is an old game because thereโ€™s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

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If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, Iโ€™m not reading a text; Iโ€™m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

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Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

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Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Witty quote about finances humorously suggesting money both speaks and leaves.

Commentary:
"When money waves goodbye, it's like my wallet performing a magic disappearing act! ๐ŸŽฉ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ˜‚"



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