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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

20 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Seen just now on Discord:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Breaking via Telegram:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Making waves on WeChat:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Live now on Slack:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

6 months ago

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of the missing item – it always seems to play hide and seek with us! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 It's like a stealthy ninja, disappearing when we don't need it and suddenly deciding to play a game of vanishing act right when we desperately require it. 😂 Just when you think you've outsmarted it, it outwits you with its disappearing act! 🎩✨ #HideAndSeekChampion

frustration, humor, i, irony, life, need, search

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

20 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Making waves on Discord:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Just landed via Facebook:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on Discord:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Just landed via Twitch:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Just landed via X:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Spotted on Reddit:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

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