Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Breaking via X:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Going viral on Facebook:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Just shared via TikTok:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being a woman: Mastering the delicate art of toning down your excitement in emails! 😅🚫💁‍♀️ #PunctuationStruggles"

before, being, communication, email, emails, exclamation, exclamation point, expectation, gender, humor, just, point, send, woman, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

0

3 weeks ago

Elon, Elon Musk, ever, exactly, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, musk, read, social, social media, stupid, tweet
I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

0

3 months ago

20s, 25, 30s, 35, actually, age, decade, humor, life, life stage, perception, self, self-perception, stage
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, exercise, fear, humor, laziness, undead, walking, zombie
I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

0

2 months ago

alarm, always, earlier, five, humor, i, listen, minutes, morning, morning routine, music, procrastination, routine, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, wake, wake up
Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

0

2 months ago

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media
My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

0

2 months ago

fighter, health, humor, immune, immune system, lover, me, personality, system

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Discord this month:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

44 shares on X this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

32 shares on Discord this month:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Going viral on TikTok:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Going viral on Telegram:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨