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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Breaking via Threads:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Spotted on Telegram:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Making waves on Slack:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Going viral on X:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Trending via WeChat:

I think my type is a nice person.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Breaking via Threads:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

1 month ago

Witty quote about self-love and vulnerability, showcasing playful humor and introspection.

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Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect time to join the endangered species list with some ice cream and a cozy blanket! 🐢🍦🛋️

animal, emotions, favorite, feelings, humor, hurt, me, self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

84 shares on Discord this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Spotted on YouTube:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Going bananas on X:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Spotted on Reddit:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Trending via Instagram:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨