Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,777

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Making waves on TikTok:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about hope and skepticism, humorously questioning optimistic conspiracy theories.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like we need the FBI (Federal Bureau of Improvement) on this case! 🔍😂✨

better, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, favorite, humor, irony, optimism, sarcasm, theory, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

1 month ago

able, age, applaud, close, getting, humor, life, milestones, people, still, things, where
Farting, but with eye contact.

4 weeks ago

awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction
Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

3 weeks ago

chocolate, dark, dark chocolate, diet, diet joke, eating, food, food humor, healthy, healthy eating, humor, joke, vegetable, vegetables
Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

1 month ago

chocolate, humor, i, inside, joke, kat, kit, Kit Kat, open, physics, Schrodinger, surprise, uncertainty, wrapper
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

3 weeks ago

age, age gap, aging, every, gap, hell, humor, inside, nostalgia, older, person, reflection, self-awareness, wondering, younger, youth
Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

4 weeks ago

bleep, dialogue, everything, humor, movie, R2D2, robot, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, wars, why

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

66 shares on YouTube this month:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Trending via Instagram:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Just landed via X:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Just landed via Instagram:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Live now on Instagram:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Farting, but with eye contact.

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨