Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Making waves on Discord:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Spotted on TikTok:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Live now on Discord:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Just landed via Messenger:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Broadcasted on X:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about enjoying solitude when waking up very early.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nothing beats enjoying the peace while everyone else is busy hugging their pillows 💤☕😴

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Live now on Twitch:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Shared recently on Facebook:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Going viral on Twitch:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Going viral on Instagram:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨