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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Live now on Messenger:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Trending via Messenger:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Just shared via WeChat:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nothing beats enjoying the peace while everyone else is busy hugging their pillows 💤☕😴

early, early morning, favorite, favorite thing, favourite, morning, morning routine, ridiculous, routine, sleep, solitude, thing, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, life, older, reflection, still, today, year
If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, fly, humor, idiot, media, satire, social, social media, TikTok
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

0

2 months ago

doctor, drink, drinking, health, humor, i, joke, me, mirror, self-reflection, watch
My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

0

2 months ago

age, dining, help, humor, husband, loud, marriage, menu, questions, reading, send, where, whole
All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

0

2 months ago

animal, dog, dogs, freelancing, humor, just, majority, pet, therapy
I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

0

2 months ago

back, bro, chef, cooking, food, frustration, hate, humor, i, kitchen, later, meal, pan, recipe, something, staying, take, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Spotted on Twitch:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Seen just now on Discord:

I need a break from me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Just landed via Facebook:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Just landed via X:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Breaking via Snapchat:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Just shared via Instagram:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨