My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

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I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

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April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

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Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.