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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Shared recently on X:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Making waves on Facebook:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Live now on YouTube:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like love truly is blind 😜👀 Just remember, sometimes it's better to swipe left and take a double-take before swiping right! 💔❤️

humor, husband, i, irony, love, marriage, relationship, second, second look, sight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

0

2 months ago

anger, body, comedy, humor, little, men, much, short, short men, size, store
For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

0

4 weeks ago

Christmas, communication, humor, ID, understanding, wish
Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

0

2 months ago

activity, asleep, eat, eating, humor, loss, napping, relaxation, sleep, weight, weight loss
You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

0

2 months ago

hair, humor, mental, mental state, observation, personality, state, tell
Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

0

5 months ago

backpack, bring, childhood, day, elementary, elementary school, free, freedom, having, i, last, last day, nostalgia, school, time, truly
People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

0

2 months ago

behavior, delete, education, growth, humor, irony, maturity, media, people, personal, personal growth, self-awareness, social, social media, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Discord this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Never trust a wet fart.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Trending via Messenger:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Spotted on WeChat:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Trending via Threads:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Breaking via Discord:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨