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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 15, 2026

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Trending via TikTok:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Trending via Facebook:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Live now on YouTube:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Making waves on YouTube:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm not just a wonderful human being, I'm also perfectly round! 🟠 Embracing my circularity in all its glory. Thanks, Mom, for reminding me that beauty comes in all shapes…and apparently, I'm shape-shifting into a circle! ⭕ #RoundAndProud #EmbracingMyCurves"

beautiful, beautiful side, circle, everyone, family, humor, i, mom, perspective, self-deprecation, side

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

2 months ago

asked, communication, friends, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, so-called, social, stop
There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

2 months ago

always, body, body image, contortion, humor, humor quote, image, keep, new, perspective, self-acceptance, self-image, self-view, view, yourself
I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

3 months ago

creeps, doing, every, humor, i, looking, neighbors, new, observation, privacy, think, time, window
I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

2 months ago

adulthood, age, favorite, favorite thing, humor, relaxation, sit, thing, where
Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

4 months ago

addiction, cigarette, eye, eyes, eyesight, humor, metaphor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time
Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

3 months ago

bag, chocolate, confidence, delicious, humor, self-control, snack, temptation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Discord this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

95 shares on X this month:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Spotted on WeChat:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Broadcasted on X:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Going viral on TikTok:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Spotted on Instagram:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

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