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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Trending via Discord:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Spotted on X:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Going viral on TikTok:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Going viral on Facebook:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Trending via Facebook:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Freshly posted on X:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

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My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I'm not just a wonderful human being, I'm also perfectly round! 🟠 Embracing my circularity in all its glory. Thanks, Mom, for reminding me that beauty comes in all shapes…and apparently, I'm shape-shifting into a circle! ⭕ #RoundAndProud #EmbracingMyCurves"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear music, thanks!

37 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Strict parents raise good liars.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Just landed via Discord:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Making waves on Threads:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Trending via Snapchat:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Just shared via Slack:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Breaking via YouTube:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Shared recently on Discord:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

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