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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Just landed via X:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Shared recently on Discord:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Spotted on Messenger:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Spotted on Facebook:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

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My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day romance with our phones 😂📱! It's always there for us in moments of need, be it a late-night scroll or an early-morning alarm clock. Who needs candlelit dinners when you have screen time as the ultimate bae? 🌙⏰ #RelationshipGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

73 shares on X this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Just shared via YouTube:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Just landed via WeChat:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Just landed via X:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

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