Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Making waves on Facebook:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Spotted on Reddit:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Breaking via TikTok:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Shared recently on Discord:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

0
My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh no, looks like someone got stuck in a time warp where weekends play tricks on us! 🌀😆 Saturday sneakingly turned into Sunday like a wizard casting a spell. May your next weekend be full of fun and chronologically accurate days! ⏰🎉"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Slack this month:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

57 shares on X this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

75 shares on X this month:

Don’t study, get slutty!

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Human hibernation should be a thing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Spotted on Messenger:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Seen just now on X:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Making waves on Instagram:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Going viral on Instagram:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Spotted on Threads:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Trending via YouTube:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴