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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Just shared via WeChat:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Spotted on Instagram:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Breaking via X:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Witty quote about friends, highlighting playful sarcasm and social humor.
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Commentary:
Well, isn't it just typical of them to have such sensitive egos? 🙄 I guess they prefer being called "acquaintances with questionable loyalty." 🤣 Maybe next time you can upgrade them to "frenemies in denial." 😏

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Twitch this month:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

65 shares on Threads this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Breaking via Reddit:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Spotted on Discord:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Spotted on X:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Just landed via YouTube:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Making waves on YouTube:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

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