Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Commentary:
“Carrots: the silent danger lurking in your salad bowl 🥕 Donuts: always ready to sweetly embrace you 🍩 Choose your snacks wisely, folks! 😉”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine being as unaware as a ghost at a party, except you’re just being silly! 🤪 Don’t be the ‘stupid ghost’ in your circle – embrace the wisdom and keep the laughs coming! 😜👻”

  • Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

    Commentary:
    Well, talk about false advertising! 🐤 Perhaps they should consider a name change to avoid confusion. Maybe Canary-Free Islands and Canary-Less Isles would be more accurate! 😄 #BirdBanter

  • Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the iconic lighthouse life! 🏠🤪 Who needs neighbors when you can have seagulls and solitude instead? 🌊 Just make sure you stock up on enough tea and books to keep your sanity afloat! ☕📚”

  • This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

    Commentary:
    “Well, well, well, it seems like someone’s disappointed in their snack selection 🤭🥃 Who knew scotch tape wasn’t on the menu for today’s gourmet tasting session? Better luck next time, tape connoisseur! 🍽️😜”

    Fun Fact or Trivia:
    Did you know that the original Scotch tape was invented in 1930 by a man named Richard Drew? It was initially created for the automotive industry to help with paint jobs, but it quickly became popular for household use! 🎨📏🛠️

  • I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

    Commentary:
    “Being awesome is a full-time job, and yesterday’s shift really wore me out! 😅💪 Today, I might just settle for ‘slightly above average’ and call it a win. #AwesomeStruggles”

  • If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, you don’t like sports? You’re missing out on all the opportunities to bond with strangers over the pain of your favorite team losing! 🤣🏈 Don’t worry, we can still chat about the weather or complain about Mondays instead! ☀️😩”