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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Breaking via Discord:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Freshly posted on X:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Just shared via Discord:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Congratulations! You've unlocked the secret level of blinking mastery! 🐤👀🎯

blink, blinking, counting, eye, funny question, humor, i, impatience, joke, ok, passing, question, time, time passing, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

2 weeks ago

ahead, anywhere, change, change of plan, doing, doing nothing, enjoy, event, humor, i, invitation, invite, know, last, last minute, me, minute, need, needs, nothing, plan, preparation, procrastination, social, social event, spontaneity, time
Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

1 month ago

30s, 40s, age, aging, car, check, check engine light, decade, engine, enjoy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, light, midlife
The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

1 month ago

back, borrowing, city, debt, finance, having, humor, money, move, new, new city, pay, payback, relocation, worst
Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

1 month ago

3, actually, coffee, day, eat, eating, eating habit, habit, iced, iced coffee, just, meal, meals, people, still, stress, survival, survive
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

1 month ago

believe, compliment, confidence, flirting, honesty, humor, i, man, me, only, pretty, self-esteem, time, vanity
I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

2 months ago

deep, discomfort, fine, humor, i, inside, irony, shoe, sock, struggle, walk, walking

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Just shared via Messenger:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Breaking via X:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Going bananas on Messenger:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Just shared via TikTok:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

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Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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