Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

35 shares on Threads this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Men need women, women need men. The end.