Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Live now on Slack:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Spotted on TikTok:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Just landed via Facebook:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Just shared via Messenger:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Trending via Slack:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Going viral on X:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

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People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.
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Commentary:
"Maybe Satan just wants to share his side of the story and have a change of heart 🤔 After all, even the devil deserves a fair chance, right? Who knows, you might end up having a surprisingly enlightening conversation with the Prince of Darkness! 😈 #HearSatanOut"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on X this month:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

66 shares on X this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Live now on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Making waves on Facebook:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Shared recently on Discord:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Just shared via Messenger:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Live now on Twitch:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

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