Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Trending via Twitch:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Shared recently on Threads:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Trending via Slack:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Just landed via Slack:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Trending via Instagram:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yeah, I'm over here feeling like a rechargeable battery with a hole in it! 🔋🕳️🤣"

drain, energy, humor, i, interaction, love, people, personality, sarcasm, social, social interaction, vibe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

0

2 months ago

brag, celebrity, creation, dream, God, humor, i, making, pascal, pedro, Pedro Pascal, saw
I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

0

2 months ago

attraction, buysexual, date, food, humor, i, joke, me, relationship
If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

0

2 months ago

always, away, call, calls, couple, ever, just, me, message, missed, need, text, text message
The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

0

2 months ago

again, change, days, humor, rain, seasons, shorter, soon, time, weather
Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

0

2 months ago

bodega, exactly, humor, likes, misunderstanding, owner, perception, relationship, same, stripper, thinking
I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

0

2 months ago

donut, donuts, food, guy, humor, hungry, i, kids, knows, little, misunderstanding, nephew, right, thanks, think, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on X this month:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Just landed via Facebook:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Spotted on WeChat:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Seen just now on X:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Trending via Facebook:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Just landed via TikTok:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Just shared via Twitch:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨