Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Making waves on TikTok:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Broadcasted on Slack:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Shared recently on Facebook:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Just shared via Slack:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Trending via Threads:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out, cat haters! 🐭🐾 Karma's got a special plan for you in the next life – hope you like cheese! 🧀😸"

back, cat, cats, hate, humor, life, mouse, next, next life, people, reincarnation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, decisions, dog, dogs, funny suggestion, guide, guide dog, humor, humorous, humorous idea, idea, making, prevent, should, suggestion
Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, back, being, humor, important, life, me, offline, online, time
Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

0

2 months ago

age, am, annoying, getting, humor, i, just, observation, old, people, sarcasm
You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

0

3 weeks ago

actual, break, date, even, humor, just, life, love, meet, meeting, relationship, somewhere, take, unexpected, unexpected meeting
You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, gift, gift wrapping, good, humor, presents, talent, wrapping
“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

0

2 months ago

age, feel, feeling, getting, getting older, humor, i, just, life, life perspective, number, older, perspective

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

67 shares on X this month:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

64 shares on Threads this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I only accept apologies in cash.

51 shares on Slack this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Just landed via X:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Seen just now on Threads:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Going viral on Facebook:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Going viral on Threads:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Just landed via X:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨