Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Making waves on WeChat:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Trending via WeChat:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Spotted on Reddit:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my social life is just a sitcom without a script! 🤷‍♂️🎭✨

anything, emotion, hate, love, none, people, perception, relationship, self

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

0

2 months ago

activity, combination, crunch, exercise, favorite, fitness, food, humor, joke, lunch, lunge
The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bring, bring back, competition, duel, humor, need, thing, tradition
Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

0

2 months ago

adaptation, bit, carbs, diet, doing, eating, evolution, exercise, exercising, fitness, human, humor, joke, never, race
Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

0

2 months ago

appointment, dentist, humor, ID, officer, order, reminder, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, system, yes
I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

0

2 months ago

enough, got, humor, irony, me, never, parents, politics, rich, socialist, upset, wealth
Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

0

5 months ago

freckle, humor, letting, outdoor, skin, summer, sun, sunbathing, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

20 shares on X this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

80 shares on Reddit this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

48 shares on X this month:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

44 shares on Discord this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Going viral on Threads:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Just landed via Instagram:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Spotted on X:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨