Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Spotted on Slack:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Spotted on TikTok:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Just shared via Slack:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Breaking via Messenger:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Just shared via Pinterest:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Trending via Instagram:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about bluesky feeling like a miracle with annoying people in a broken elevator.

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Commentary:
"Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧"

annoyance, annoying, annoying person, awkwardness, bluesky, broken, broken elevator, discomfort, elevator, feels, funny situation, humor, miracle, most, people, person, situation, social, social awkwardness, stick, take, together, where, world

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Reddit this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

79 shares on Discord this month:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

73 shares on Discord this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Seen just now on TikTok:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Just shared via Instagram:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Spotted on Instagram:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Just landed via Instagram:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Trending via WhatsApp:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Making waves on Discord:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Just landed via Telegram:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

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Activity Log ✨

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

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