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Commentary:
"Sorry, no threesomes here! If I wanted to let two people down, I'd just have dinner with my parents instead. 🤷‍♂️🚫 #ParentalDisappointmentWins"

awkward, awkward situations, disappointment, family, humor, i, parents, people, relationships, same, situations, threesome, time, visit, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

0

2 months ago

ears, expectations, humor, husband, joke, marriage, me, nobody, separately, sold, told
You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

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2 months ago

child, choice, dilemma, evening, fun, help, homework, math, nice, parenting
It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

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2 months ago

activity, fun, humor, i, mischief, playfulness, shenanigan, time, too
Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

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2 months ago

communication, contact, humor, irony, media, misunderstanding, person, social, social media, understand, welcome
I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

0

3 weeks ago

argument, belief, Christmas, good, holiday, humor, i, Santa, should, skepticism, still, stop, tradition, why
Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

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2 months ago

35, after, age, birthday, Facebook, growing, growing up, humor, just, keep, media, number, perception, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

73 shares on Slack this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Going bananas on Discord:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Live now on YouTube:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Shared recently on X:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Just shared via YouTube:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Going viral on TikTok:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨