Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.
  • I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.
  • Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.
  • If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.
  • If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.
  • A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.