31 funny preparation quotes - Wordgag

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

May 29, 2026

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

May 29, 2026

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

May 29, 2026

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

May 29, 2026

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

May 29, 2026

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

May 29, 2026

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

May 27, 2026

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

May 26, 2026

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

May 26, 2026

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

May 26, 2026

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

May 25, 2026

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

May 25, 2026

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

May 25, 2026

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

May 24, 2026

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

May 23, 2026

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

May 23, 2026

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

May 23, 2026

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

May 23, 2026

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

May 23, 2026

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

May 22, 2026

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

May 22, 2026

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

May 21, 2026

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

May 21, 2026

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

May 21, 2026

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

May 20, 2026

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

May 20, 2026

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

May 19, 2026

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

May 19, 2026

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

May 19, 2026

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

May 19, 2026

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Apr 1, 2026