Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.