Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

4,040

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Live now on WeChat:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Live now on Telegram:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Spotted on Threads:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Going viral on WeChat:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Trending via WeChat:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why 'close apps' when you could SLAM them shut like a drama queen? 📱💥🤣

able, anger, being, drama, flip, flip phone, frustration, humor, miss, nostalgia, phone, shut

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

1 month ago

annoyance, clothes, code, daily, daily grind, dress, dress code, grind, humor, office, routine, stuff, work
That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

2 months ago

bourbon, bourbon chicken, chicken, disappointment, food, food disappointment, food taste, good, i, mall, mall food, only, order, same, swear, taste, toothpick
I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

1 month ago

exercise, exercising, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, much, not exercising, wish
I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

1 month ago

choices, food, fridge, heart, humor, hunger, i, journey, love, me
I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

4 weeks ago

coffee, fuel, humor, i, me, misanthropy, motivation, need, sarcasm
When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

5 months ago

challenge, communication, dumb, dumb question, humor, i, misunderstanding, personal, question, said, take, thing

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Just landed via Reddit:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Live now on X:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏