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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,882

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Making waves on TikTok:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Trending via Slack:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Just landed via Discord:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Going viral on YouTube:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
In this economy, I'd be lucky if I came back as a discount coupon! 😅🤑

afterlife, economy, finance, humor, life, reincarnation, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

1 week ago

empowerment, energy, girl, hack, humor, love, lover, real, self, self-love, yourself
What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

1 month ago

action, consequence, deserve, done, humor, i, irony, oh, reflection, remember, right
An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

1 month ago

activity, app, building, date, fun, fun activity, left, match, negotiation, no talking, partner, restaurants, right, swipe, talking, where
The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

1 month ago

boss, Christmas, employee, even, humor, never, party, Pope, religion, workplace
I have to pee. Story of my life.

1 month ago

bathroom, humor, i, life, pee, story, urgency
I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

4 weeks ago

communication, hear, hope, humor, i, me, relationship, thinking

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Just shared via Twitch:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Living la vida taco!

Broadcasted on X:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reincarnation, in this economy?

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

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Reincarnation, in this economy?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

I have to pee. Story of my life.

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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