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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Making waves on X:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Seen just now on X:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about Santa not providing batteries for gifts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's workshop is powered by magic and cookies, not batteries! 🎅🍪 Don't worry, folks, your toys may not come with batteries, but they do come with an extra sprinkle of holiday cheer! 🎁🎄 #PoweredByChristmasMagic

battery, Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, reason, remember, Santa, unknown, unknown reason

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Messenger this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The peace of not knowing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I only drink when I people.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Spotted on YouTube:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Spotted on Slack:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Spotted on YouTube:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Making waves on Slack:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Just landed via X:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

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