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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Breaking via Messenger:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, my face must be a historical artifact of romantic chaos! 😜💕📜

ancestry, combination, face, family, generation, generations, heritage, literally, love, people, relationship, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

1 month ago
common, common sense, communication, confusion, expression, face, found, humor, love, misunderstanding, over, person, reaction, say, sense, thing
Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

1 month ago
box, chocolate, comparison, expectation, expensive, humor, i, life
In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

1 month ago
20s, 40s, aging, forever, humor, life, live, oh, optimism, reality, uh
The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

1 month ago
accidental, constant, humor, life, lock, lock screen, screen, screenshot, technology
Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

1 month ago
association, color, color association, comparison, explain, flavor, flavor comparison, grape, grape flavor, grape soda, humor, humor in taste, i, know, perception, purple, sensory, sensory perception, soda, taste
Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

3 months ago
exercise, funny habit, habit, language, mental, mental exercise, mentally, pronunciation, saying, spelling, Wednesday, word, wordplay, writing

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Going viral on YouTube:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

I’m not feeling very worky today.

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Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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