Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Going viral on Threads:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Shared recently on X:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Just shared via Facebook:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Live now on Slack:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Just landed via Telegram:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Salt is just angry sugar.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Someone needs to give salt a yoga mat and a calming playlist! 🧘‍♂️🎶🤣"

angry, comparison, food, humor, just, playful, playful comparison, salt, sarcasm, sugar, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

0

2 months ago

church, confession, guilt, humor, i, irony, joke, name, relationship, want
My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

0

2 months ago

80s, activity, fun, fun activity, humor, nostalgia, plan, plans, retirement, time, time travel, travel
I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

0

2 months ago

antidepressant, baby, baby name, humor, i, irony, later, learn, mom, name, naming, new, new mom, only, parenting, pick, try, unique, unique name, wonder
Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

0

2 months ago

before, dating, decide, humor, interaction, just, mating, mating ritual, over, patience, please, ritual, social, social interaction, wait
Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

0

2 weeks ago

boredom, dry, dying, food, frustration, game, gaming, house, humor, hunger, i, keep, loser, losing, phone
Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bison, experiences, fullest, humor, life, living, selfy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

36 shares on Instagram this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

58 shares on Discord this month:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Just landed via Reddit:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Trending via Facebook:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Freshly posted on Slack:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Salt is just angry sugar.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨