Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Just shared via Slack:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Trending via Snapchat:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Seen just now on Twitch:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Making waves on Discord:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about fashion pricing, highlighting humor in clothing costs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew less fabric could cost more?! 😂🩳💸 But hey, when in doubt, just remember: short on price, long on style! 😎👖 #FashionMath"

clothing, comparison, economics, fashion, humor, pants, price, shorts, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

4 days ago

age, forgetfulness, humor, humor about age, loss, lost, myself, self-deprecating, time, whoops
Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

7 days ago

commentary, community, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, online, online community, psych, psych ward, social, social media, staff, Twitter, ward
I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

3 days ago

awkward, change, changing, changing name, city, different, ever, exaggeration, humor, i, move, moving, name, quit, quitting, say, toilet, work
Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

4 days ago

dog, family, grandpa, humor, joke, loud, nickname, pet, snore
My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

2 weeks ago

always, boss, contrast, cute, different, family, humor, i, me, mom, opinion, sleep, tell, used, work
I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

2 weeks ago

attention, here, humiliation, joke, likes, media, myself, self-esteem, social, social media, validation, worth

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

14 shares on Discord this month:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

56 shares on Slack this month:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Spotted on Reddit:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Live now on X:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Just shared via Discord:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Seen just now on Slack:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨