Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Breaking via WeChat:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Making waves on Messenger:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew less fabric could cost more?! 😂🩳💸 But hey, when in doubt, just remember: short on price, long on style! 😎👖 #FashionMath"

clothing, comparison, economics, fashion, humor, pants, price, shorts, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

2 months ago

activity, believe, childhood, found, fun, fun activity, hard, holiday, lap, me, nostalgia, picture, Santa, sitting, whole, year
For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

1 week ago

act, again, always, breakup, contact, final, final act, humor, i, irony, love, memory, never, think
Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

1 week ago

911, 911 operator, call, call center, center, emergency, empath, hanging, humor, job, job struggle, me, operator, overwhelmed, screaming, someone, struggle, work, working
This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

2 months ago

Christmas, funny gift, gift, give, holiday, humor, joke, last, lifetime, pet, tortoise, unique, unique gift
Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

2 months ago

age, children, days, humor, just, know, little, little people, live, men, parenting, people, weight, women
Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

2 months ago

asking, babe, being, binge-watching, every, hours, humor, loneliness, me, Netflix, only, relationship, reminder, self-care, shoutout, still, streaming, thank, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

17 shares on Messenger this month:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

46 shares on Telegram this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Live now on Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Just shared via YouTube:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Spotted on Telegram:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Trending via TikTok:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Trending via Threads:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Spotted on Threads:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Going viral on WeChat:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨